Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
Randomize
