READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
