Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
