At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
Randomize
