he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
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