FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
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