She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
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