WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
it's like heaven, but drunker
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
Randomize
