You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
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