Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
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