I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
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