? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
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