Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
Randomize
