This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize
