Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
The uberlube is also flammable
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
Randomize
