Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
false alarm, still single
Randomize
