Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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