we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
Randomize
