Having your wife answer your cell was so lame. Maybe we can talk when you get your phone, your facebook account, and your balls back.
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
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