i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
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