Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
Randomize
