so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
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