Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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