I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize