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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
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