I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
Randomize
