who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
Got drunk and tried to deep fry burritos. Turns out wild turkey isn't a good replacement for vegetable oil. Nearly burned my house down.
Sober people should be as daring as drunk people more often, because honestly the fact you’ve lived so long is a sign that anything is possible.
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Randomize