hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
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