another moral hangover. fuck.
I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
Randomize
