cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
Randomize
