I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
Randomize
