why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
Randomize
