Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
I supernannyed him into submission
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
Randomize