Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
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