All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
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