He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
