Christians are straight up FREAKS
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
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