Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
Randomize
