his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
Randomize