I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
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