Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
Randomize
