i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Randomize
