I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
Randomize
