After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
You smell like a Billy Joel song
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
Randomize