I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
Silently passing ghastly beer farts as I move around the bridal department at Tiffany's. Call it my contribution to the holiday spirit.
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
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