ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
Life without a bra equals bliss.
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
Randomize