it wasn't lemon gatorade
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
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