My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
I ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH A GUY WHO HAS A NICHOLAS CAGE POSTER ABOVE HIS BED I CANT HANDLE LIFE.
The universe is either telling you 1. you make terrible decisions or 2. its time to let go of your hatred of Cage.
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
Randomize