just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
