thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
Randomize
