they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
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