Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
Randomize