That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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