My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
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