Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
Randomize
