I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
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