i wonder why nobody wants to date me...im doing a crossword at work and asked out loud: whats a 4 letter word for 'a reason to get married?'
i was like PREG?
So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
This is the high leading the old right now
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
Randomize