Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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