I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
Randomize
