Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
you told grandpa to call you daddy
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Randomize
