I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
Randomize