im gay
i know
yea but for you.
Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
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