My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
Randomize
