Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
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