Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
Impromptu road trip to New Orleans for four days of Mardi Gras. I'll probably be alive and back for Valentine's Day plans, probably won't stick my dick in some random either-might be using my free pass you cheating asshat. Love you. Expect random texts & probably a drunk dial or twelve. You did this to yourself. You're not invited so don't bother. Have fun at work.
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
