I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
Randomize
