my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
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