You're completely useless in the revolution.
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Randomize
