So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
Randomize
